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2007 Advice for Business Women | 13 Psychic Myths & Facts | Life Cycle | Self Esteem | Vulnerability & On-demand Readings | Words Matter: Take Charge

Success is in The Cards!
On the lighter (and enlightening) side, Abella Arthur brilliantly fuses tarot, astrology and numerology to offer readers an intriguing and uplifting alternative perspective on what’s ahead for women-owned businesses.

Success is in The Cards!

Abella Arthur looks ahead...
Previously written for Brilliant Online

Often I’m asked questions surrounding manifestation of a better and brighter future. These questions come from strong, intelligent, and achievement-oriented men and women. And while it might be quite fitting to respond to these challenges with unusual and unordinary solutions, the remedies divined are generally quite simple and common.

Receiving insights that are easily overlooked or cannot be fully and successfully pursued is not very beneficial. The simplest solutions are often the best answers to life and business challenges.

Up until December 31, 2006 the general business environment for women entrepreneurs includes funding concerns. There’s a lot of anxiety over that; however, the necessary resources desired will be secured. Try pushing back the curtains and look past any obstacles that present themselves to you. And if that doesn’t work, try another pair of curtains.

Moving excitedly into early 2007, there’s thoughts around "Will what is due ever come about?" The important thing here is to take your dream, draw up goals, complete them, and with this, your vision will manifest itself. How can you do this? Good management techniques, courage and believing that you can come up with amazing strategies that lead towards earning an excellent living at doing what you love.

Other Ideas to Bring About the Greatest Rewards/Results

1. Move Quickly. Your projects and ideas want a release of energy. Avoid letting your projects build up and return frequently to what awaits your attention. If you move quickly on acting upon long overdue business activity you will experience great results.

2. A Business Plan. "Plan your work, and then work your plan." Whether you create a lengthy professional or short personal one, it’s important to start or revise a business plan. Also take a look at anything previously written and examine how far you have traveled, where you didn’t want to go, and where you do want to go.

3. Network. When connecting with others, show your "human side." Truly make friends and allies with the focus on heart rather than money. Suggest proposals that benefit all with a particular focus on the other person’s needs.

The motto for 2006: Power, wealth, and health. Be strong, persistent and determined amid adversity. Do not give up easily. Find ways to synthesize seemingly incongruent forces to reach a mixture that result in a superior situation, method or purpose. Know that you deserve to be a headliner, earn all that you want, and that your business can grow or sustain itself easily.

And the motto going into 2007: People, places and spaces. Be focused on human contact. Be interested in others while maintaining self-interest. Get out: enjoy the city, life, and human relationships (even if you are a computer-bound homebody!). Learn about what truly matters to people and then get involved in community projects that make a difference.

At the end of looking into my crystal ball (and many other tools) for women entrepreneurs I saw what I often see: Powerful insights are regularly simple and usual, yet effective. Therefore, I urge you to re-evaluate the tried and true to positively and productively affect your success.

And if you have trouble doing that on your own (which is quite normal no matter how successful a person is) consider employing a mentor, coach, teacher or reader to help you refresh your approach to sage, tried and true solutions.

Abella Arthur Abella Arthur is a certified professional psychic. She uses coaching, counseling, consulting, guiding and reading skills coupled with tools such as Tarot, Astrology, Numerology and Palmistry to provide a simply life-changing experience. Contact Abella to receive private and special event entertainment readings, fortune greeting cards, or learn how to do what she does. Web Site: http://www.abellaarthur.info

2007 Advice for Business Women | 13 Psychic Myths & Facts | Life Cycle | Self Esteem | Vulnerability & On-demand Readings | Words Matter: Take Charge|

Applying the Business Product Life Cycle to Careers, Relationships, Products, Services, & More

The Life Cycle

• Introduction
• Growth
• Maturity
• Decline

I first learned about the The Life Cycle in business school. It is often used in business regarding products; however, I'm presenting it here as a universal principle that applies to so many life issues.

Below, I'm going to illustrate how The Life Cycle affects our happiness and accomplishments in life with a "crisis" section underneath each phase to state the "challenging" or "shadow" aspects of the phase moving forward.

The INTRODUCTION phase is about the newness of the thing. In relationships, that can be first meetings and in work, the first weeks. It's about discovery and possibilities. Crisis If one is always looking for the new, then nothing can grow and that deep intimate knowledge can never happen. A lot of superficiality can occur.

The GROWTH phase is about making things "happen". In relationships, this can mean moving towards getting a place together, vacationing, and blossoming the relationship with "truths" and healing each other's "pasts". In work, this can mean being in charge of a project that has a great effect on the work place. Crisis If people get stuck in the growth stage it will be difficult to make something "worthwhile" happen!

The MATURITY phase is about standardizing and stabilizing. In relationships, this can mean getting married, having babies, getting a house, etc. etc... In work, this can mean setting standards, creating documentation, policies and procedures. Crisis If you don't allow innovation and the intro, growth cycle to re-occur -- the road leads to decline and that means having to scramble to re-new the situation. Good planning allows for change.

The DECLINE phase is about staleness. The relationship might undergo a divorce, separation, or an affair. In work situations, a lay-off, wanting to quit, or huge dissatisfaction might occur. Crisis If this stage comes to the surface, it's hard to dig oneself out of the situation. A lot of people run and cut their losses but it doesn't have to be that way.

To add, we all have a "place" or two that we love to hover over. For me it's the "Maturity and then back to Growth stage". In my case, when it comes to work, this means that I love to put together plans, document processes and procedures, and help stabilize; however, I DO NOT want to be stuck in what I created or be forced by upper management or clients to succumb to my own designs. I want the option of re-visiting, updating, and innovating. Certifications, plans, processes, and programs are just "guides" or "tools" for a smoother ride but it doesn't make or break anything. But if I don't have the option of growth, I usually quickly have a DECLINE crisis and might choose to terminate the relationship.

Why is any of this important?

• understanding which state you are likely to hover over;
• communicating that to the people that need to know (including yourself);
• doing something that allows you to stay in that state for as long as possible while cycling out to maintain balance.

(c) 2005 Abella Arthur

2007 Advice for Business Women | 13 Psychic Myths & Facts | Life Cycle | Self Esteem | Vulnerability & On-demand Readings | Words Matter: Take Charge|

13 Psychic Myths & Facts

Myth
Psychics read your mind at all times.

Fact
Psychic readers can read your mind if we focus our intent on doing so; however, if we did that with everyone all the time, we would become exhausted and require mental health assistance. Myself, I am personally not interested in that! Also, any professional reader will ask for permission instead of invading your privacy. Having said that, some things like intuition and face reading become automatic but one normally tunes into it for brief periods of time and only when necessary. Also, if someone doesn't want to be read, they can't be -- it's that simple.

Myth
Psychic readers know everything about the person down to the colour of the underwear they are wearing or what they had for breakfast.

Fact
Psychic readers often focus on specific areas of concern that is often decided upon by the person getting a reading. In some cases, a person (also called a sitter or seeker) just wants to be "read" in which case it's often general information the psychic sees which they then interpret into general or specific insights for the sitter. Also, the qualities of insights are dependent upon the question and energetic openness of the sitter to the reader.

Myth
Readers will tell you something horrific like you will get into an accident or die.

Fact
Professional readers have a code of ethics they read by and it generally doesn't include telling people about things they can not control or that are psychically damaging to know about. My rule of thumb is this: Does it add value and benefit the person to know? If yes and it doesn't go against code, then I will tell them and then give them ideas on how to improve a challenging situation.

Myth
Psychic readers are scam artists.

Fact
Professional readers are interested in providing a valuable service which helps a person and does not rip them off. As with many things, vulnerable and desperate people and those who do not want to work at or take responsibility for their life are most susceptible to fraud. I say put scam artists out of business by taking ownership over your life and in my practice I turn away vulnerable people and re-direct them to crisis centers or other help.

Myth
Psychic readers are fakes and often use cold reading techniques.

Fact
Professional readers are often able to read body language, facial expression and parts, hair and clothing styles because they have a genuine interest in understanding, observing, and knowing others. Cold reading is often used separately (i.e. face reading) or in combination with other reading tools (tarot, astrology, palm, etc.). Cold reading can also be used as an ice-breaker (building rapport) or used for illustration purposes (when relating reading insights to what is seen visually). Also, everyday "normal" people use cold reading techniques in everyday transactions with others without paying much attention to it. Cold reading techniques help people build rapport and get along with others well. Fraudulent so called psychic readers use these techniques to intentionally defraud others.

Myth
A psychic isn't real unless they can read without questions being asked.

Fact
A psychic may pick up stray facts about a person but they usually require a concentrated effort to read another and that person needs to open themselves up to the reading free of testing in order for anything of value to come out of the reading. Professional readers will want to know "specific" questions a sitter wants answered because they could be there all day picking up stray facts or "psychic debris" that have no relevance or meaning to the sitter. This is just wasted time. Also, as mentioned before, psychics and readers are basically interpreters. They receive data and interpret it into something meaningful and practical so that the sitter understands and relates to the response. Your question lays the foundation for the interpretation. If there's no question, the response is likely to be general.

Myth
All readers are psychics.

Fact
Some readers are not psychics; however, all psychics are readers. Being a psychic means you have heightened senses beyond the norm. A reader is someone who has knowledge of an ancient scientific tool and can interpret a result but does not necessarily make intuitive jumps in interpreting the data gleaned from a reading tool such as tarot, astrology, numerology, palmistry, handwriting analysis, etc. Psychic sense tools include: Clairvoyance (sight), Clairaudience (hearing), Clairsentience (feeling), Clairaugustance (tasting / smelling), and Claircognizance (knowing). Psychics plug into the "universal mind" (bypassing having to study a system), pick up stuff, and interpret the results. Readers study a system, pick up stuff, and interpret the results.

Myth
Psychic readers shouldn't charge money for what they do because it's a gift and is spiritual.

Fact
Professional readers offer a valuable service in which others are benefiting. While it may be a gift, many people have gifts: athletes, actors, doctors, psychologists, etc. Since we live in a society that requires us to use money to survive, we need to earn a living so why not use our gift? If we don't, then we are wasting our gift and that doesn't make any sense. As for it being spiritual, if I was living in conditions in which I was financially supported (i.e. religious workers, living in a monastery, etc.) I wouldn't need to concern myself with earning a living. And if I lived such a lifestyle, I will also more than likely be less available to the general public as my focus would be on spirituality only and I would have less concern on the mundane everyday, and some may say superficial aspects of life.

Myth
All psychics or readers know the past, present, and future.

Fact
Not all psychics or readers have the same ability or interest. Retro-cognition (past), cognition (present), and pre-cognition (future) are areas that a psychic or reader may divine and it depends on their ability and interest as to how well they can do so, if at all.

Myth
A reading is set in stone.

Fact
The majority of professional readers believe in a combination of freewill and destiny. Freewill allows you the freedom to do as you will and change course. Destiny is something that just happens to you and there's no way of really getting around it. A reader is like any other forecaster (weather, sports, and stocks for example). We look at past performance and present conditions to divine a future "likely" outcome; however, freewill or intervention (divine or otherwise) can affect the forecast. And that's the curve ball that means no reader is 100% accurate.

Myth
Readings are for divination fortune telling purposes only.

Fact
Readings can be used for personality analysis, strategizing or a brainstorming tool, an objective viewpoint, meditation, mediation & arbitration, making choices, seeing options, healing, brainstorming & idea generation, past lives analysis, dream manifestation, dream analysis, Mediumship, story development, planning, psychic/intuitive development, love & relationship diagnosis, career & work counseling, expanding experience, understanding people, society, self, and situations, or inexpensive short term alternative to unlicensed coaching, counseling, and/or consulting services.

Myth
Psychic readers (aka fortune tellers) are old, grey haired, unattractive women who read in dark and mysterious (and maybe creepy) living rooms or house spaces which have a lot of old and weird things displayed. They also have a crystal ball or a selection of odd picture cards which their long fingers and painted fingernails grasp. Wearing a scarf over the head, maybe around their shoulders, with jewelry (beads and/or coin around the neck, bangles around their wrists, many rings, and hoop earrings) they are quiet yet penetrating and see through our soul telling us all sorts of profound and earth shattering news and omens that leaves us feeling ill.

Fact
While some of those types of readers exist, modern psychic readers often have an everyday office or read by phone, email, instant message, or snail mail (recorded) when reading for an individual during a private session. They may or may not see seekers in person and when they do it may be in a normal office space, café, or at a special event within your home, office, restaurant, spa, or trade show. Also, readers look like anyone and everyone. They can be young, socially beautiful, full of life and vitality, vivacious, and trendy looking, your next door neighbour, a man, or a sports mom. Having said this some readers, like the readers at 3 of Cups Psychic Event Entertainment (www.3ofcups.ca), do our best to look the part as that adds glitz, atmosphere, and excitement to an event.

Myth
Testing a psychic will prove their accuracy.

Fact
When a builder puts up a wall it's to keep stuff out. If a sitter intentionally puts up a wall and if they are a very good builder, the psychic will not be able to penetrate it. Psychics, to my knowledge, are not omnipotent paranormal beings. When a psychic gives a reading it's an energy exchange; it's a give and take activity. Readings are not meant to be an amusing trick though they are entertaining (hey, someone is talking about me to me!). Genuine psychics do not like to be tested because they are not magicians or trying to play tricks and they are rarely able to give an accurate reading when being tested. Psychics are not interested in matching wits or playing mind games though Mentalists are into that. Psychics want to provide seekers or sitters valuable insights that leave a sitter feeling great! Giving false information can confuse the psychic, turn them off, and get them anxious which can leave a bad vibe. It's a poor way of testing a psychic who has a genuine interest in helping others. Now some psychics (like through 3 of Cups) are focused on being entertainment but there's still an etiquette to be mindful of when getting a special event reading. When a sitter entertains themselves by tricking, confusing, or withholding while getting a reading, they are being unproductive and negative and probably shouldn't be getting a reading from a genuine psychic. If a sitter is "worried" about giving away information rather than just getting a reading or asking questions, they do both themselves AND the reader a disservice as their energy is not open and the reader gets cloudy information. Of course, at 3 of Cups Psychic Event Entertainment www.3ofcups.ca we are used to testers and many of us read very well under and enjoy those conditions but what I am saying here is: It's largely inappropriate and doesn't really prove anything. It's hard enough to do an actual reading when someone is open let alone trying to sift through a garbage dump of psychic debris. So testing a psychic does not prove anything more than the sitter behaving in an unkind way towards another human being and themselves, this is especially so for special events when the vibe is generally to be positive and uplifting. Guests, who test psychics, can put a damp vibe on an event. So if you know you have a lot of guests who are skeptical and want to amuse themselves by testing the psychic, try a mentalist instead or let the psychic know in advance so they can decide whether that's the environment they want to entertain within.

2007 Advice for Business Women | 13 Psychic Myths & Facts | Life Cycle | Self Esteem | Vulnerability & On-demand Readings | Words Matter: Take Charge|

Four Stages of Self Esteem & Achieving

Stage One - I can't do it! (inactive)
Stage Two - I am not sure how this can be done. (passive)
Stage Three - How do I do it? (passive-active)
Stage Four - I can do it! (active)

Notice that there is a progression from an exclamation mark (!), a period(.) to a question mark(?) then finally ending with an exclamation mark (!)? This isn't an accident.

When a person is experiencing low self esteem they think of ways "not" to accomplish things. They will mull over how things are "not" possible and "assume" too much about the situation.

When a person is experiencing okay self esteem, they will ask themselves how to get things done: What can I do to get x,y,z done? And when a person is experiencing high self esteem, they say: I can do it! Then they go about their business. I am the type of person that listens to/reads/hears every word, its importance to the speaker, and its relevance to me.

Words, how they are phrased, and their syntax offer great meaning to the auditor if one is willing tolisten beyond the obvious. Discussion about this theory is welcome.

A challenge to you!

Your challenge is to catch yourself when you say words and phrases like: No, I can't, I don't, That's wrong, It's impossible, They won't want it, I'm intruding, and I shouldn't -- because these are self-limiting beliefs that keep you away from accomplishing your dreams, everyday tasks, and difficult challenges. Catch yourself saying "negative" self-defeating words and phrases AND assuming. That which does not serve you well. Verify your assumptions as fact. Give others and yourself an opportunity to "prove you WRONG!". Question why you are saying these things and find ways to rephrase/reframe them so that the new ways of wording do good work for you. Disclaimer: If you are in survival mode -- i.e. you are being attacked -- "No" and any other aggressive words are quite fitting and often useful. Please use the information above in context and your own brand of common sense. (c) 2005 Abella Arthur

2007 Advice for Business Women | 13 Psychic Myths & Facts | Life Cycle | Self Esteem | Vulnerability & On-demand Readings | Words Matter: Take Charge|

Words Matter: "I want..." instead of "I should..." -- Take Charge of Your Life

A simple change in speech does a whole lot of good to increase your happiness.

Now, does this work for what most people would agree as *bad* things to do? Say for example: smoking, eating too much, working too much, spending too much, etc. etc. Yes, it does. When we allow ourselves to want the things we love, we free ourselves to not *have* to want more than is good for us. So have a smoke, eat what you like, work hard, and spend money. "But that is a destructive behaviour", you say! Well, it won't be. Why? Because you want what makes you feel good. Smoking, eating, working, and spending can make you feel good, right? Right. But doing too much of it can make you feel bad, right? Right! So when you say, "I want to smoke", in theory and in practice (unless you like to sabotage yourself) you will only do what you love until you love it and no more. In effect, you end up doing less of what *isn't* good for you because your mind says, "hey, this isn't fun anymore. I only want what makes me feel good". Also concern yourself with your own desires and interests and not what other people say you "should and shouldn't" do because you don't own those *should's, have's, and must's* -- someone else does! You own *want*!

2007 Advice for Business Women | 13 Psychic Myths & Facts | Life Cycle | Self Esteem | Vulnerability & On-demand Readings | Words Matter: Take Charge|

Vulnerability & On-demand Readings

• the seeker is ready for it (emotionally stable);
• the reading is not focused on emotionally charged or long standing issues;
• the readee needs help in making a decision that is time sensitive;
• the readee has no control over the outcome (the wheels have already turned).

The Long of It

We live in the world of "now" in the sense of "I want it now", not in the "take every day as it comes" peaceful Zen "now".

"Resist the temptation of losing yourself...
In this civilization people are not really alive. They want to prepare for life but they are not capable of living their life because they are always running, they are always thinking of the future. They are not capable of stopping and establishing themself in the present moment and to live deeply each moment of their life..." Thích Nhất Hạnh Often feelings of impatience, fear, depression, anxiety, frustration or any other number of emotionally distressing feelings and thoughts are running through those that "want it now". Unfortunately what may not be realized is that an on-demand reading will generally only offer relief temporarily and is often a less valuable reading when it comes to dealing with difficult issues. The emotionally charged feelings and thoughts are often linked to a diagnosed or undiagnosed/unacknowledged personality disorder or seeker crisis. In these cases, the last thing the seeker ought to be doing is getting a psychic reading. The reading is unlikely to be accurate and the seeker is often unable to respect the time, energy, and professional capability of the reader. Abella prefers making appointments as it allows both you and her the time to relax and prepare for the reading and it's a professional way of approaching readings that's balanced and healthy while costing you less. Also, Abella is an in-demand reader who reads for many people day in and day out and has a fully booked schedule that is often one to two weeks in advance. When a seeker requests an on-demand reading, that cuts into her schedule; however, she is happy to oblige if it makes sense to do the reading right away and if the seeker is emotionally grounded. In addition, reading vulnerable people on-demand goes against her values of: professionalism, integrity, being people-focused, building rapport, quality, and going the extra mile.

Emotionally Balanced?

• You have a few job offers and need to make a decision asap.
• You are getting ready to have a discussion with a significant other and want to set up a game plan.
• You are selling your house and you want to know who to sell it to.
• You are booking a last minute vacation and can't decide which place to book.
• You want to know if this is the right time to travel, see someone, study, take a job offer, etc..
• You are on an application deadline and you want to know how to best present yourself.
• You want to know how much you should spend on something before you go ahead and buy.

• recent breakups
• obsessive connection to a past love
• passed over loved ones
• missing persons
• negative and/or dark feelings/thoughts
• contribution free and victim oriented self-focus

This list is not inclusive. There might be readers who will read about anything at anytime. Abella is not one of those readers. She's highly empathic and it's damaging to her spirit when you are unbalanced and unable to keep that to yourself. Therefore, she needs to prepare herself for deeply troubled reading content (that's if she decides to even read for you) and allow an emotionally unbalanced seeker settle into and clear some of the pain and anguish (which a regular appointment booking(s) helps).

2007 Advice for Business Women | 13 Psychic Myths & Facts | Life Cycle | Self Esteem | Vulnerability & On-demand Readings | Words Matter: Take Charge|